The weight…and the waiting.

Dear friend,

Today is the winter solstice, and for those of us who live in the northern part of the northern hemisphere, that means the shortest day and longest night… the most darkness. For some of us, this season of Christmas can also feel like the darkest time of year. Memories of childhood, loved ones we miss, mourning what could have been and perhaps never was… the weight can feel like too much to carry. Almost as suffocating as the darkness.

Today, I feel that weight in my chest, and I take time to notice it and address it with kindness. If you also feel that weight, I invite you to practice this attentiveness with me. Take a moment for yourself, and let’s sit together with the weight.

I place my hand on my chest and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Breathe in to fill my belly and nervous system with oxygen and life. Slowly release the tension as I release that breath. Again. Breathe in…. Release. Once more, breath in… release. 

Hello weight. I notice you. What emotion are you?

I listen and wait for insight. I recognize grief and loneliness.

My soul, grief and loneliness are weighing me down in this moment. Where are they coming from? What memory, thought, belief, or event is behind this heaviness?

Take time to listen and hear the story, the account the emotions are telling. 

My emotions are reminding me of things I am missing this season. So I take a few moments to remember what I loved about those things and speak gratitude for them. I remind my soul I am not less because I don’t have them this year. They are part of my story. I can experience new joys this year that may be different. 

Thank you for reminding me of these beautiful things, weight. You did your job, and now I release you and invite hope to take your place. I wait in anticipation for joy and light.

Today on this darkest day, I am praying for you. May any weight you feel in this season get its message through to your attention so that you can hear it and listen to it and release it. May you find light and hope and joy even in the darkness.

Let us wait with anticipation for the light. It is coming. It is strong and beautiful and healing.